Alcohol and drug addiction is not only a struggle for the person suffering from it but for the people around them, too. It is a tough time for everyone involved, and even when the tide of addiction turns towards recovery, the struggle will continue.
Supporting someone in recovery requires a lot, and it can seem overwhelming. Below are eight things that people in recovery wish you knew. With more information, you can help your loved one on their journey and increase the chance of long-term recovery.
Understanding Recovery: It’s a Lifelong Journey
One of the most important things to about addiction recovery is that it is a continuous process. It is not a one-time event that ends with them finishing rehabilitation. Every day a person may struggle with their recovery, faced with any number of challenges.
People in recovery face many obstacles after they get sober. Triggers, cravings, emotional struggles, building relationships and transitioning back into the real world are all problems that your loved one will have to overcome.
Recovery is a journey, not a destination, and if a person has a support system around them, then the chances of relapses are hugely lessened.
1. Recovery is Not Linear
The first thing to know is that recovery is not a straight road. Setbacks and even relapses are all part of the journey for many people. Going through these doesn’t mean failure, it just demonstrates that going through recovery is hard.
It’s during these moments that empathy and patience are vitally important. Without them, frustration can build, and lessons may not be learned. These setbacks could snowball into bigger crises that are harder to overcome.
To navigate difficult phases in recovery, coping mechanisms are needed. These can include:
- Self-care
- Exercising, eating well and getting regular sleep
- Attending support groups
- Learning to manage stress and impulses
- Doing enjoyable things not related to addiction
2. Addiction is a Disease, Not a Choice
Supporting someone in recovery is hard, especially if there is resentment about their addiction. It’s important to remember that people suffering from drug and alcohol addiction are suffering from a recognised medical condition, not just being selfish and stubborn.
Addiction causes changes to the brain’s reward system, hijacking it and the reward circuit. Addictive substances overload this circuit, flooding your brain with pleasure when you engage in addictive behaviours. Soon, your body becomes more tolerant of the addictive substances, causing a person to have more and more of the same effects as before.
The compulsion takes over, and the brain is unable to stop craving the addictive substances even if the person is aware of what their actions are doing to themselves and others.
Recovery is a battle with yourself, and professional treatment and long-term support are needed to help you change the way your brain functions once more.
The NHS and organisations such as Frank can help you learn more about the science of addiction.
3. Recovery Requires Ongoing Effort
Recovery is not completed by finishing rehab. It requires ongoing commitment and vigilance. This means that people in recovery should attend group support meetings, such as NA and AA, as well as regular therapy sessions if they are needed.
Personal growth is at the centre of recovery. People in recovery are making wholesale lifestyle changes – exercising, eating well, making new friends, and having new hobbies – whilst becoming more aware of themselves and other people.
To keep loved ones accountable during recovery, you should:
- Be open but non-judgmental with your communication
- Educate yourself about addiction
- Set boundaries
- Encourage healthy lifestyle choices
4. Stigma Makes Recovery Harder
The reason many people do not get help is because of shame. A stigma still exists around addiction; we are uncomfortable talking openly about it, and this prevents people from getting help and other people helping those suffering.
Stigma can sometimes not be intentional, but making assumptions and using harmful language can worsen the issue.
It can be hard to know how to talk about addiction. Some non-judgemental ways of talking about addiction include:
- Use less judgemental language. Say “person living with addiction” instead of “addict”.
- Don’t define people by their addiction
- Use neutral language and medical terms
- Speak up when you hear people being disrespectful about addiction
5. Triggers Are Real and Hard to Avoid
Triggers are emotional responses based on an experience. These responses then lead a person to coping mechanisms – which in the past were substances and/or alcohol. They can be people, places and situations that lead people to experience cravings. Triggers are very real and can be hard for people going through recovery to cope with.
Ways to help people avoid triggers include:
- Plan sober activities
- Create a safe environment, free of any triggers
- Recognise warning signs
- Have a plan on what to do if they are triggered
What’s most important is to communicate openly about triggers. If you are aware of what might trigger your loved one, you can better help them avoid them.
6. Emotional Support is So Important to the Journey
Poor mental health can make recovery even harder. Emotional support during this time is essential to keep a person sober. This can be easier to do if you offer emotional validation rather than advice. Emotional validation gives a person space to feel their feelings, and you avoid sounding like you are lecturing them.
Some tips on how to listen without judgement and be present include:
- Being in the right frame of mind to talk to them
- Use positive body language
- Engage in active listening
- Be accepting and empathetic
What you say can help reinforce your loved one’s self-esteem and resilience. To help them, you can say things such as:
- Look how far you’ve come
- You’re stronger than you think
- You’re not alone. We are with you
- This too, shall pass
7. Celebrate Progress, No Matter How Small
Supporting someone in recovery means celebrating progress. There are many milestones on the journey, and at times, your loved one may feel there is little to celebrate. Acknowledging milestones such as completing a treatment programme, 30 days sober, six months sober, and a year of sobriety will help boost confidence and motivation.
Celebrating without alcohol or substances doesn’t mean fun cannot be had. A nice dinner out, a spa day, doing something your loved one enjoys, going to a concert or staying to watch their favourite film – these are all ways to mark an occasion that is meaningful and sober.
8. Professional Help is Sometimes Needed – And That’s OK
Sometimes, what a person in recovery is doing and the support you are giving them is not enough. Needing professional help doesn’t mean that they are weak or the collective best isn’t good enough. It just means that proactive steps are being taken to ensure that their recovery is maintained.
There are plenty of resources available to you and your loved one in recovery. There are residential rehab programmes for when a relapse occurs. Counselling, group therapy and other support groups are all resources to use. They can help you connect with others, hone coping mechanisms and learn more about addiction.
Rehab Clinics group provides residential addiction treatment and offers tailored recovery solutions to give your loved one the best chance of achieving long-term recovery.
Supporting Recovery Is About Understanding
Recovery requires patience, empathy and ongoing encouragement. Knowing the eight things listed above (key triggers, understanding recovery is almost never linear, the stigma around addiction) will help you approach recovery with the correct mindset.
It’s important not to stop here and educate yourself more. By taking steps to reduce stigma and talk more openly about addiction, you can become better at supporting recovery efforts and helping loved ones who are suffering.
Rehab Clinics Group is a private drug and alcohol rehab dedicated to helping those suffering from addiction and their families. If you want to learn more about how to support someone and the addiction and support services we offer, contact us now.
Call us today at 0800 470 0382.